If you're part of an agile team or a manager, or in a technical leadership position, or you work with people, you'll be in a position to coach at some point.
When you start thinking about coaching, remember this:
Coaching is offering options with support
Coaching is not just teaching. Sometimes, coaching is listening, sometimes it's offering an example, sometimes it's helping other people see that there are other options. Once you get past sports coaching, coaching is much more than teaching.
So, how do you offer options with support? Consider these ways:
- Help the other person see that there are at least three alternatives for each problem. There are more, but three is the minimum. Once you get past the third option, it's easy to generate more options for the solution.
- Help the person work through the results/consequences of each choice.
- Suggest a timebox in which to try the solution and see what happens.
These are all supporting actions.
Here's how I did this once as a manager. I managed a sharp guy who asked our management embarrassing-to-them questions at all-hands meetings. My manager told me I needed to fire him. I said no, that I would give him
feedback and see if he wanted coaching. When he said he wanted coaching, and that he wanted coaching from me, I first asked, "Can you see three alternatives to how you ask questions now?"
He replied, "Well, I could quit going to the meetings." I asked, "Will that work for you?" "Not really." "Ok, that's one option, but it's not the best one. What's another option?"
"I could write down my questions at the meeting, and ask you later." I agreed that might work. I asked, "How frustrated do you think you might be by not asking questions right then and there?" "Very!" "Ok, so that's another option. Can you think of a third alternative?"
"I could sit next to you and whisper my question in your ear and you can tell me whether it's ok to ask." I agreed I would do that, as long as we would discuss why I said no to some questions at our next one-on-one. He agreed.
There were probably other options, but that one worked well for us for several months. I wouldn't say my colleague is the most tactful guy now, but he has a better idea of what works in public and what doesn't work.
Helping him think through the alternatives was a much better idea than telling him what to do or not to do. When it's time for you to coach, help the other person consider multiple options and support that person through the thinking and doing.
